I DID IT!!! 10 straight days! Yesterday was my 10th day, and it did not come without it's humor.
The instructor (Stephanie) was fun, with her unplaced accent. I finally let out my first BIG fart! I was waiting for it. Just what is the etiquette for that? I just continued to do my pose, but it took me a minute to regain my focus...LOL!
I finished and I was in tears. I wasn't sure if I was going to do all 10 days, but I was thrilled that I saw it through.
And now? Well, I'm continuing this streak. I want to see just how long I can keep this up. I went to a 6 am class this morning (not sure how often I'll do that...still not a morning person). I think eventually, I'll probably go 4-5 days per week. I think that's a more doable and same practice for me to continue.
What I discovered through Bikram is that I can do anything I set my mind to (I've know this on some level, but it felt good for me to validate it through something physical). I'm not as hopeless at yoga as I had once thought...a surprising revelation! Moving forward post-cancer, it's nice to find something that feeds my mind, body and soul. Bikram has done just that, and I'm eager for further transformation of my body and mental state.
P.S. Did I mention that I lost 5 pounds? Crazy!!!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Day 9...a day late
As usual, I'm playing catch up...LOL!!!
Yesterday, I went to another afternoon class. Nancy was the instructor, and she was fantastic! What I liked about her is that she made a point of naming everyone in the class, and as the class progressed, she made corrections to individuals, but she remembered us by name ("Eric, lift your arms higher..." " Michelle, use your core..."). I was really impressed by that.
Day 9 at 4:30 in the afternoon brought about the realization that I could workout in the afternoon, and not hate the world afterwards... LOL! I usually like to start my day with the workout and go about my day. But I'm loosening my stance on that. Getting all of the crap from the day out during a Bikram class was quite nice. I walked out feeling a lot lighter than I did walking in. It's Ok for me two alternate between mornings and afternoons. Maybe I'll even delve into the evenings.
Well, it would seem that I am doing just that, as I am currently on my way to a 6:30 class...on Day 10!!!
Reflections on this 10-day journey will follow.
Yesterday, I went to another afternoon class. Nancy was the instructor, and she was fantastic! What I liked about her is that she made a point of naming everyone in the class, and as the class progressed, she made corrections to individuals, but she remembered us by name ("Eric, lift your arms higher..." " Michelle, use your core..."). I was really impressed by that.
Day 9 at 4:30 in the afternoon brought about the realization that I could workout in the afternoon, and not hate the world afterwards... LOL! I usually like to start my day with the workout and go about my day. But I'm loosening my stance on that. Getting all of the crap from the day out during a Bikram class was quite nice. I walked out feeling a lot lighter than I did walking in. It's Ok for me two alternate between mornings and afternoons. Maybe I'll even delve into the evenings.
Well, it would seem that I am doing just that, as I am currently on my way to a 6:30 class...on Day 10!!!
Reflections on this 10-day journey will follow.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Day 8
I was so tired yesterday, that I get to do a "two-fer!"
Day 8 was interesting in light of the headache from the day before. I need to really get a grasp on food timing. If I have a class that happens after 11, I was told to eat by 9. Two to three hours before class. So I'm doing that today for Day 9.
But yesterday brought about a little balance. I was able to do tree pose for both legs, which made me smile at myself in the mirror. It's funny, everyone in the class is so focused, and so am I. But I allow for a smile if I accomplish something, a smile if I do something crazy, or just a smile simply because I'm doing the class. And that all seems ok to me. I have to keep finding joy in this process as I progress, or else it doesn't feel good to me.
So I missed the morning classes today, and the next one isn't until 4:30. Another afternoon class...sigh. Well, I have to do it in order to finish the 10-day challenge. I've come to far to lose the streak at day 9.
More later...
Day 8 was interesting in light of the headache from the day before. I need to really get a grasp on food timing. If I have a class that happens after 11, I was told to eat by 9. Two to three hours before class. So I'm doing that today for Day 9.
But yesterday brought about a little balance. I was able to do tree pose for both legs, which made me smile at myself in the mirror. It's funny, everyone in the class is so focused, and so am I. But I allow for a smile if I accomplish something, a smile if I do something crazy, or just a smile simply because I'm doing the class. And that all seems ok to me. I have to keep finding joy in this process as I progress, or else it doesn't feel good to me.
So I missed the morning classes today, and the next one isn't until 4:30. Another afternoon class...sigh. Well, I have to do it in order to finish the 10-day challenge. I've come to far to lose the streak at day 9.
More later...
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Day 7
I made it 7 days! I can't believe I've done a week of Bikram. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do it, but I've surprised myself everyday.
But I need to talk about something that I love a lot, but have been challenged by it this week: food. I've been nervous about eating before Bikram because I have a history of throwing up in weird places (the Robs know all about this!). I didn't want to tempt fate by eating beforehand. So I missed my morning class and waited for the next one at 2. This marked a departure for me, as I've only ever done morning classes. I had a protein bar and loads of water. I thought this would be adequate to get me through the class.
Well, I got through the class alright, but got a headache on the way home. Drinking water...drinking water...drinking water. I thought it was a hydration issue when I realized that the damn protein bar was all I'd had all day. I stopped and got some almonds and a banana. I was feeling better within 15 minutes.
My lesson today was that I need to make sure not to let my blood sugar get to low. I hated that headache and would - ideally - not like to repeat it.
Any tips on this one would be welcomed. This is not a "patience" or "time" issue. This is one of making sure I'm ok going into class, and ok coming out of class.
Because good gawd, that lethargic feeling was no joke.
But I need to talk about something that I love a lot, but have been challenged by it this week: food. I've been nervous about eating before Bikram because I have a history of throwing up in weird places (the Robs know all about this!). I didn't want to tempt fate by eating beforehand. So I missed my morning class and waited for the next one at 2. This marked a departure for me, as I've only ever done morning classes. I had a protein bar and loads of water. I thought this would be adequate to get me through the class.
Well, I got through the class alright, but got a headache on the way home. Drinking water...drinking water...drinking water. I thought it was a hydration issue when I realized that the damn protein bar was all I'd had all day. I stopped and got some almonds and a banana. I was feeling better within 15 minutes.
My lesson today was that I need to make sure not to let my blood sugar get to low. I hated that headache and would - ideally - not like to repeat it.
Any tips on this one would be welcomed. This is not a "patience" or "time" issue. This is one of making sure I'm ok going into class, and ok coming out of class.
Because good gawd, that lethargic feeling was no joke.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Day 6
Wow! I was so tired that I fell asleep earlier without having written anything today. Crazy tired, I guess it's a good thing. Sleep well earned! Good thing I woke up to go to the bathroom or Day 6 would have faded into nothingness...phew!
Day 6 was a bit of a challenge in that I felt like my mind was tired. It was hard for me to stay focused on the postures. But I did manage to do some things that I couldn't do when I started this 6 days ago, so I felt good about that.
The thing that I'm really coming to learn is that Bikram has been good at opening me up, and letting me see where I am now. I've been buried in health crap for a couple of years, and I feel myself breaking free of that protective armor. When I leave the studio, I usually feel as though I am better able to take on the world!
Add to that, my mornings have been so much better. I am NOT a morning person, and yet I look forward to waking up, putting on my yoga gear, and starting my day in that heated room. I've been in "10-day challenge" mode in my head, that I'm wondering if it's now habit. I'm surprised at how automatic it has felt this past week. My enthusiasm hasn't waned, though my frustration with myself seems the same. I really want to work past that, and get to a place where I can just go in, do what I can, and be satisfied with that.
Gee, have I actually started my practice?
Day 6 was a bit of a challenge in that I felt like my mind was tired. It was hard for me to stay focused on the postures. But I did manage to do some things that I couldn't do when I started this 6 days ago, so I felt good about that.
The thing that I'm really coming to learn is that Bikram has been good at opening me up, and letting me see where I am now. I've been buried in health crap for a couple of years, and I feel myself breaking free of that protective armor. When I leave the studio, I usually feel as though I am better able to take on the world!
Add to that, my mornings have been so much better. I am NOT a morning person, and yet I look forward to waking up, putting on my yoga gear, and starting my day in that heated room. I've been in "10-day challenge" mode in my head, that I'm wondering if it's now habit. I'm surprised at how automatic it has felt this past week. My enthusiasm hasn't waned, though my frustration with myself seems the same. I really want to work past that, and get to a place where I can just go in, do what I can, and be satisfied with that.
Gee, have I actually started my practice?
Friday, March 29, 2013
Day 5
I met a guy. His name is Shawn. He's 28, cute and VERY wise.
OK, before excitement takes over, he was my instructor this morning. I met him at the front desk and mentioned that I was almost halfway through the 10-day challenge, and he commended me. But something he said has really stuck with me: "focus on the postures, not the benefits."
Hmmm.
I started this because I thought I would get something out of it, physically. I've been pleasantly surprised by how I've become more aware mentally. Each day, I've had a chat in my head about how my back feels in boat pose, or how my hamstrings loosen themselves when I'm stretching my forehead to my knee. My focus has not been solely on the postures themselves.
My friend Lisa joined me this morning. After class, we had a chance to chat about our experience with Bikram. She reiterated the lesson from yesterday. Lifelong practices take time, and that we shouldn't strive for perfect. I feel like I'm steadily loosening my grip on perfect, but I have a long way to go...and that's OK. I think my practice includes that need to be excellent or perfect, staying present, and patience. BIG challenges with the "challenge," but at the same time, I welcome it!
Today's lesson: keeping my mind focused on the postures means that I'm present in that moment, and not thinking beyond.
OK, before excitement takes over, he was my instructor this morning. I met him at the front desk and mentioned that I was almost halfway through the 10-day challenge, and he commended me. But something he said has really stuck with me: "focus on the postures, not the benefits."
Hmmm.
I started this because I thought I would get something out of it, physically. I've been pleasantly surprised by how I've become more aware mentally. Each day, I've had a chat in my head about how my back feels in boat pose, or how my hamstrings loosen themselves when I'm stretching my forehead to my knee. My focus has not been solely on the postures themselves.
My friend Lisa joined me this morning. After class, we had a chance to chat about our experience with Bikram. She reiterated the lesson from yesterday. Lifelong practices take time, and that we shouldn't strive for perfect. I feel like I'm steadily loosening my grip on perfect, but I have a long way to go...and that's OK. I think my practice includes that need to be excellent or perfect, staying present, and patience. BIG challenges with the "challenge," but at the same time, I welcome it!
Today's lesson: keeping my mind focused on the postures means that I'm present in that moment, and not thinking beyond.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Day 4
Four straight days of Bikram yoga. FOUR!!! It seems crazy that I'm almost halfway through the 10-day challenge, but I am.
Today, Rob#2 asked how it was going, and I made a surprising admission. I told him that I had moments of frustration because I wasn't getting some of the postures as quickly as I wanted. What I heard next was like a bolt of lightning; "this is a lifelong practice you're building and it takes time. Don't try to be perfect."
Ah, reiterating yesterday's lesson.
The idea of doing Bikram doesn't mean that I have to be perfect from the beginning, but that I grow from the practice. So today I can only balance on one leg, but I will grow to eventually balance on my either my left or right leg. I will also learn that this is not meant to be competitive. As much as I love beating people in numerous instances, or beating my own scores, this is about maintaining focus and being ok with what I do in the moment. Keeping still and focused.
It all sounds easy, doesn't it? Believe me, it's a challenge.
Today's lesson: let go of the need for perfection and just be. Enjoy the moment and accept where I am now.
This lesson is definitely going to take some work.
Today, Rob#2 asked how it was going, and I made a surprising admission. I told him that I had moments of frustration because I wasn't getting some of the postures as quickly as I wanted. What I heard next was like a bolt of lightning; "this is a lifelong practice you're building and it takes time. Don't try to be perfect."
Ah, reiterating yesterday's lesson.
The idea of doing Bikram doesn't mean that I have to be perfect from the beginning, but that I grow from the practice. So today I can only balance on one leg, but I will grow to eventually balance on my either my left or right leg. I will also learn that this is not meant to be competitive. As much as I love beating people in numerous instances, or beating my own scores, this is about maintaining focus and being ok with what I do in the moment. Keeping still and focused.
It all sounds easy, doesn't it? Believe me, it's a challenge.
Today's lesson: let go of the need for perfection and just be. Enjoy the moment and accept where I am now.
This lesson is definitely going to take some work.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Day 3
This morning I walked into the studio, feeling like I wanted 12 more hours of sleep. I didn't want to wake up. I wasn't sluggish, just sleepy. I hoped I wouldn't fall asleep.
Class started, and as it progressed, I felt like some of my limbs were swimming through mud. Some of the postures were a real struggle, not because I couldn't physically do it, but mentally, I was having a hard time focusing. And my right leg was being stubborn again.
At the end of class, I felt a little defeated. So much I wanted to do, and I was unable to. There must have been frustration on my face because Darla (today's instructor) came over to check up on me. I asked her about the balance of my right leg. Is there something I could do outside of class. Her response? "Time and patience."
Really?
Patience with myself has never been a strong suit. The fact of the matter is that I expect a lot of myself, with most things...OK, with all things. I'm not patient when I fall short. But Darla knows that I'll be able to do all of these poses eventually, and that I need time to get there.
Today's lesson: patience and time. Allow myself some time to gain more confidence in my ability, and it will all fall into place.
Until then, I will have to conjure up some patience. Ah, a challenge with the challenge.
Class started, and as it progressed, I felt like some of my limbs were swimming through mud. Some of the postures were a real struggle, not because I couldn't physically do it, but mentally, I was having a hard time focusing. And my right leg was being stubborn again.
At the end of class, I felt a little defeated. So much I wanted to do, and I was unable to. There must have been frustration on my face because Darla (today's instructor) came over to check up on me. I asked her about the balance of my right leg. Is there something I could do outside of class. Her response? "Time and patience."
Really?
Patience with myself has never been a strong suit. The fact of the matter is that I expect a lot of myself, with most things...OK, with all things. I'm not patient when I fall short. But Darla knows that I'll be able to do all of these poses eventually, and that I need time to get there.
Today's lesson: patience and time. Allow myself some time to gain more confidence in my ability, and it will all fall into place.
Until then, I will have to conjure up some patience. Ah, a challenge with the challenge.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Day 2
Walking in today, I felt a bit off. I'd hoped I had enough water to drink. I know I slept well (why didn't anyone tell me years ago that Bikram would make me sleep like Rumpelstiltskin?). I was hoping that after yesterday's class, that I would be able to do A pose, let alone 26.
But nobody told me I was lopsided!!!
I say this because on day 2, I realized that my balance sucks...LOL! Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. When I locked my left knee and stood solid, pulling my right leg back, or attempting standing head-to-knee pose, it was great. But standing on my right leg was frightening. I would step out of my pose or just feel my knee buckle. I couldn't believe how different my balance poses were between my left leg and my right. I know, I know...everyone has a "good" side, but good gawd! It was like watching a cartoon when the "devil" and "angel" appear on your shoulder, except in this case, they were on my knees; the angel on my left knee, like a rock, and the devil on my right, like jello.
But within that, something amazing happened. The "tree" pose - my nemesis since starting on this journey - actually happened! There I was, standing straight and solid (on my left foot, of course), and holding my foot at my crotch, spine straight, and staring into the mirror at a Shell who was doing tree pose...actually HOLDING tree pose! Of course, I tried the right foot, and didn't hold it as long, but held it for a few precious seconds. I couldn't help but smile slightly at my progress.
I had several of those "smile slightly" moments today; kicking my leg in front of me for standing head-to-knee pose and FINALLY getting aligned during triangle pose. Major wins today! I want to continue to do better than I did the day before...I mean, that is one of the points of doing this challenge, right?
Walking out today, I felt much more relaxed than I did yesterday. Perhaps that's because I allowed myself more time to relax at the end of class. It felt good. And Darla (my instructor) called me "a regular." Yay me! I'm hardly a professional, but a regular after a handful of classes? Uh, ok. I'll take that.
So now, I just feel tired, and ready for bed. I mean, I do this all over again tomorrow. Of course I want to figure out how I'm going to balance on my right foot (that annoys the hell out of me!), but maybe instead of trying to analyze the mechanics of my slightly weaker knee, I need to show up tomorrow and try again.
Lesson for today: Let go of analyzing, show up, and JUST DO IT!!!
See, I'm learning...I'm growing! I guess that makes me a Flintstone's kid after all!
Alright, enough already. More tomorrow.
But nobody told me I was lopsided!!!
I say this because on day 2, I realized that my balance sucks...LOL! Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. When I locked my left knee and stood solid, pulling my right leg back, or attempting standing head-to-knee pose, it was great. But standing on my right leg was frightening. I would step out of my pose or just feel my knee buckle. I couldn't believe how different my balance poses were between my left leg and my right. I know, I know...everyone has a "good" side, but good gawd! It was like watching a cartoon when the "devil" and "angel" appear on your shoulder, except in this case, they were on my knees; the angel on my left knee, like a rock, and the devil on my right, like jello.
But within that, something amazing happened. The "tree" pose - my nemesis since starting on this journey - actually happened! There I was, standing straight and solid (on my left foot, of course), and holding my foot at my crotch, spine straight, and staring into the mirror at a Shell who was doing tree pose...actually HOLDING tree pose! Of course, I tried the right foot, and didn't hold it as long, but held it for a few precious seconds. I couldn't help but smile slightly at my progress.
I had several of those "smile slightly" moments today; kicking my leg in front of me for standing head-to-knee pose and FINALLY getting aligned during triangle pose. Major wins today! I want to continue to do better than I did the day before...I mean, that is one of the points of doing this challenge, right?
Walking out today, I felt much more relaxed than I did yesterday. Perhaps that's because I allowed myself more time to relax at the end of class. It felt good. And Darla (my instructor) called me "a regular." Yay me! I'm hardly a professional, but a regular after a handful of classes? Uh, ok. I'll take that.
So now, I just feel tired, and ready for bed. I mean, I do this all over again tomorrow. Of course I want to figure out how I'm going to balance on my right foot (that annoys the hell out of me!), but maybe instead of trying to analyze the mechanics of my slightly weaker knee, I need to show up tomorrow and try again.
Lesson for today: Let go of analyzing, show up, and JUST DO IT!!!
See, I'm learning...I'm growing! I guess that makes me a Flintstone's kid after all!
Alright, enough already. More tomorrow.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Day 1
I hated yoga. So much of it was shoulder stands and downward dog-based poses, it was enough to give me a head rush. I never thought that I would go to a yoga class, and feel anything but a great dislike for it.
After many conversations with my friends, "the Robs", the Bikram seed was planted. "There's no downward dog in Bikram," said Rob #1. "You will be transformed," said Rob #2. At first, all I heard was blah blah blah. After a while, I felt the need to try something different and step outside of the box. What could be more different for Shell than to try a yoga class in a heated room? Hmmm...
I went to my first class last Sunday, and something miraculous happened. I felt myself, not just doing most of the postures (and some pretty well), but I felt like I had awakened somehow. It wasn't important for me to be excellent. And time was not a factor. Time did not exist in that 90 minute window. It was a physical activity where I didn't count the minutes to the end of class. I lost all sense of everyone else, and was able to really focus on myself; my breathing, how I got into and out of the postures. I was sweating out of every cell in my body, but I was so proud to see what I was capable of. I wanted to push myself even further. I loved the feeling I got once I left; euphoria, sore, inner calm. I wanted more of that to carry out into the world.
So it begins...the 10-day challenge. I got it in my head to do 10 straight days because I figured the benefits would be endless. I could really see how far I could take my body within 10 days. And I may not want to stop there.
So today, I went to class with my friend Giselle, who was doing Bikram to try something new. Our mats next to each other, we set out for 90-minutes of stretching in the humid room. I knew she was nervous, but I also knew she would do just fine.
We had been twisting and contorting for a while, and I glanced at her in the mirror. She was definitely giving her all, and doing well. I was really impressed, wondering if she was holding out on me. Had she done this before? I really wondered, she did so incredibly well. We finished the class, and walked out of the studio. I'm not sure if she liked it, but she got through it just fine.
As for me? Well, it was a good start for this 10-day journey that I'm embarking on. What am I getting myself into?
We'll find out soon. I've gotta get some sleep. Stay tuned for Day 2!!!
After many conversations with my friends, "the Robs", the Bikram seed was planted. "There's no downward dog in Bikram," said Rob #1. "You will be transformed," said Rob #2. At first, all I heard was blah blah blah. After a while, I felt the need to try something different and step outside of the box. What could be more different for Shell than to try a yoga class in a heated room? Hmmm...
I went to my first class last Sunday, and something miraculous happened. I felt myself, not just doing most of the postures (and some pretty well), but I felt like I had awakened somehow. It wasn't important for me to be excellent. And time was not a factor. Time did not exist in that 90 minute window. It was a physical activity where I didn't count the minutes to the end of class. I lost all sense of everyone else, and was able to really focus on myself; my breathing, how I got into and out of the postures. I was sweating out of every cell in my body, but I was so proud to see what I was capable of. I wanted to push myself even further. I loved the feeling I got once I left; euphoria, sore, inner calm. I wanted more of that to carry out into the world.
So it begins...the 10-day challenge. I got it in my head to do 10 straight days because I figured the benefits would be endless. I could really see how far I could take my body within 10 days. And I may not want to stop there.
So today, I went to class with my friend Giselle, who was doing Bikram to try something new. Our mats next to each other, we set out for 90-minutes of stretching in the humid room. I knew she was nervous, but I also knew she would do just fine.
We had been twisting and contorting for a while, and I glanced at her in the mirror. She was definitely giving her all, and doing well. I was really impressed, wondering if she was holding out on me. Had she done this before? I really wondered, she did so incredibly well. We finished the class, and walked out of the studio. I'm not sure if she liked it, but she got through it just fine.
As for me? Well, it was a good start for this 10-day journey that I'm embarking on. What am I getting myself into?
We'll find out soon. I've gotta get some sleep. Stay tuned for Day 2!!!
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